Monday, March 19, 2012

Here come the Judge.....

The other day we read this really cool little tid-bit on the Huffington Post.  
What we took away from it was how you can meet another mom who comes at parenting from a different angle than you, and how you can still get along. That is of course, if neither one of you are judging. 

Believe it or not, and if you have your own children you know you believe it, this is actually harder to do than you think. 

I'm not gonna say we have never been on the judging side... But it always feels like crap afterwards to know that you were spiteful. And hopefully, we have been on the receiving end enough more times, to feel justified writing this and knowing we will refrain from judgment as much as we can. 

From the very first moment you are pregnant.... The "Mom judging" starts. 

Sometimes it is all dressed up as "good advice" or well meaning questions, but you can always feel the subtle under current. 

"Breast feeding is THE best! Do you have the La Leche Leauge book yet? You can borrow mine!"

"Oh my gosh, you TOTALLY have to put your baby in the crib from day one... or trust me, he will NEVER get out of your bed!!" 

"Are you SURE it's not twins?" 

"You don't really want to name your baby that, other kids will make fun of her name." 

Then, the "good advice" continues with your newborn.

"Oh, that baby needs a hat!" 

"You just have to bounce him the RIGHT way and you'll get a burp out." 

"Remember, you're not eating for two anymore." 

"You don't have to pick up your baby EVERY time she cries you know." 

Seriously, the amount of unsolicited advice that I have gotten over the last 5 years through my three pregnancies & bringing up my boys is astounding.

Unsolicited advice is a different creature then when someone wants and asks for your opinion on how to do something. 

The best advice I got... Also unsolicited by the way, was from my pool man. He said to my husband and I one day shortly before our first son arrived, 

"Find what works for your family, and do it." 

Amazing.... Simple.... Profound. 

What works for my family, may not work for your family. 

(I hope that is a vegan cake!) 

"My sister's husband's cousin let her baby sleep in her bed & that 8 year old still sleeps in his parents bed EVERY NIGHT!! Don't let your baby in your bed!!!" 

Sleeping with my first son in our family bed was one of the most magical and romantic and bonding experiences my husband and I ever had as a couple. I snuggled that little baby till I could not snuggle no more! 

And I am so glad I did, because, my two other boys didn't care to sleep in bed with Mom & Dad. 

After about the 6th week, they were not having it anymore. They wanted their space and they wanted to be in their crib in a nice quiet room, they just slept better that way. I totally get that. I gave those babies what they wanted... And. I gave my first son what he wanted.... 

Every single one of my kids sleep in their own beds now, and sometimes I miss them!

Whatever sleeping arrangement works best for YOUR family, is the right one. Be it the family bed,  every one in their own bed, musical beds, Co-sleepers... Go for it!
*Make sure your spouse is on the same page as you and your all happy.

"I'm sure you could make enough milk if you just keep TRYING to nurse... Don't give up! Here, call my lactation consultant her name is Ulalala, she once helped a MAN build a milk supply." 

Oh my goodness people! Yes nursing is great, I personally loved it. But it is really, really hard those first few weeks and if you say it isn't then you must be the supreme milk mother. 

Personally, I nursed all three of my children for just about 10 months each. That is 30 months of nursing in my life.  These were beautiful and bonding experiences.... I did it, my breasts paid the price. 

I have beautiful healthy strong children. I wouldn't trade it for the world. But you know what? 

If you can't nurse, don't want to nurse, would NEVER nurse... 
That's OK too. 

I seriously feel like this hot-button-issue is the hardest on Mom's who, for whatever their reasons, do not nurse. I know women who are made to feel like horrible mothers because they don't nurse. That's bull. 

I have a 6 year old... I am here to tell you at this point, I can not tell you who in his Kindergarten class was nursed, who was bottle fed, or honestly and quite possibly... Who goes home after Kindergarten and has a little breast milk snack!! 

My point being, they are all healthy, strong and beautiful. 

Lay off the moms who bottle feed, its gonna be ok. 

"Ohhhh is she pregnant again? Please don't tell me that is what her stomach still looks like from her last baby!" 

Cringe!! I cringe when I hear one mother crap talking another mother for not being skinny enough fast enough. Seriously? I want to yell... Seriously? 

Way to build a sister-hood. 

If you have gotten skinny right after you have your baby, then good for you! That is awesome and you should be proud of your self!! 

What you shouldn't be is a total bitch who looks down on the sweet mom who is doing her very best and may still have a little baby pooch. 

Everyone is in it together. Everyone is having the days where they just about loose their Sh*t by bath time. We are all just trying to make it through these foggy days and sleep deprived nights. 

Why do you have to bring a sister down for not being a size 2? 

Isn't it enough that her kids are happy and clean and fed? Isn't it enough that she has on a shirt with no food on it and that she doesn't have spit-up in her hair? 
(And yes, I did say sister!)

I think so... I think thats enough. Go on with your bad self mama! Your awesome! 

Speaking of sleepless nights... This brings me to the most popular area of judging another mom... 

"How is your baby sleeping?" 

That question is soooo baited.

I have so many other questions for friends with a new baby. 

"Who does he look more like?"

"What is his personality like?" 

"How are YOU?" 

"Isn't being a mother just the most amazing thing you have ever experienced?" 

Because, really... Unless someone is reaching out and asking for help, just assume that the first 1-17 months are pretty sleepless on the whole.

But it is a euphoric and amazing tiredness that takes Mamma's over... They wouldn't trade it for all the chocolate in Switzerland. 

So, unless you are asking out of pure concern and love for a friend...

Maybe wait to see if she brings it up.
You know how you know when your question comes from a place of love? When you get no satisfaction  when you hear that your friend hasn't slept in weeks.  

One day, all babies will sleep. 
This we know. 

I have had babies that seemed to NEVER sleep and I have had babies that slept 12 straight hours since they were 5-6 months old.

Trust me... If you are lucky enough to have a baby that sleeps all night, 
the person you just spent an hour questioning about how their baby never sleeps more then 2 hour stretches, just doesn't want to hear it. 

Wow... This is just the tip of the iceberg of parent-on-parent judgment. 

We haven't even cracked the T.Vor no T.V, Video game, temper-tanturm, advanced placement testing,  egg yet! 

Our point is... Do your thing and do it proudly. If your kids are safe and happy. And you are sane (as possible) and happy then you are doing everything just fine. 

Lets all just try and be supportive of each other. Lets stop with the baby comparing and the unsolicited advice. 

Every once in a while try smiling at another mom and not tearing her down in your head for giving her baby non-organic bananas. 

This is cute: found it on Babble 
"Dear Mothers,
I don’t care if you breastfeed or formula feed.
I don’t care if you carry your baby in a sling, or push your babe in a stroller.
I don’t care if you cloth diaper or buy disposable.
I don’t care if your baby uses a pacifier, or sucks their thumb.
I don’t care if your baby eats organic food or not.
I don’t care if your kids watch tv.
I don’t care because I’m busy trying to raise strong, productive, loving, healthy, positive human beings.
I do care that you feel that you can reach out to your fellow mothers without judgment or shame.
I do care that you feel supported.
As a mother TO a mother, I SUPPORT you 100%.
Seriously, because anything less just sucks.
Kick judgment in the ass.
Just support each other."

Anyways, this is just our two cents. Judge it as you may. 
XOXO- All The Cool Moms

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

We love us a good bar...or 2. New moms you are gonna LOVE us!'s exactly what you are thinking...that is if you are thinking of the newest bars in town.   Oh wait!! As much as Miss Me and I LOOOOOVEEEE ourselves a good Champagne or 5...
We are talking about a whole other type of bar.   The kind of bar that makes us look and feel beautiful with out having to make use of Beer and Vodka Goggles  *The "beer goggles" are considered to have distorted the "wearer's" vision, making unattractive people appear beautiful, or at least passably attractive.*
In LaLa Land and a few other major cities in the US, beauty bars are popping up everywhere.  They promise total beauty in no time flat and charge almost nothing for hello?  Did you read that right?  Yup, you totally did!   
There are 2 we can't get out of our heads (or wallets) They each have their own specialty so you know you're getting the best...I mean you wouldn't go to a hand surgeon for brain surgery right?   Nail salons have been around for decades so it makes perfect sense why there would be shops popping up that do one thing and they do that one thing amazingly.  Soooo you may have seen a few of our tweets lately drooling over The Dry Bar by uber mom, Alli Webb.
I know...we hate her too (in the best most adoring way of course)  ...anywhoo.. The Dry Bar is amazeballs.   You walk in to a salon so chic, so cute you would die to have designed it yourself or have it as your dream bathroom.  Its filled with white marble, white chairs and shelves and sunshine yellow accents....DELISH!!!!!  
It's visual perfection.   Then $35 (or $40 for you NYC'rs) and 30 min later you walk out with perfect hair....
To say we are obsessed is an understatement. totally is an indulgence but it's sooooo worth it!  And for $35 for shiny, sexy hair in under 30 min?!   Yes PLEASE!!!   Nothing makes a new mom feel rejuvenated like gorge hair...ok... gorge hair and a nutella panini.   
Oh, PS they are opening locations EVERYWHERE!!! Ok, so we found the next bar from Daily Candy and it was crazy love at first site.   Its a super cute boudiour of a store that can take you from tired ol' gal to glam goddess in 30 flat.  Introducing Blushington.  
A makeup bar that just does that...make up! more booking terrifying blind dates with your local MAC counter...walking in not knowing what is about to happen.   
Blushington promises perfection and you can choose your look from their super cute menu.  They also offer classes for new mommies on how to look gorge in 5 min!!!!!    So have no fear ladies....Blushington and The Dry Bar are there to help you look like a hot piece of ass with not a lot of cash :) (and in no time flat ...we couldn't figure out a rhyme for that one)
xoxo things we heart

Friday, July 15, 2011

Patience my young Jedi...patience.

In this crazy, fast, and sometimes hardened world we all need to take a deep breath and remember how lucky we are.  Yes, there will be tough times that happen but there are amazing ones too.  If we all just practice a little patience it will help us to recognize the good and teach a super valuable lesson for our little bunnies....

So take a deep breath....count to 10 or 100 if you have to look around you and smile....

Don't yell at the bad driver (or flip them the bird),  try not to scream at the Target check out guy that takes his sweet annoying time checking you out while your baby cries in the basket,  and what ever you do...DO NOT shake the speaker in the drive thru....yes it's loud and horrible but just don't...Oh and don't forget to kiss your sig other even when they are doing it wrong....

INSTEAD of the angry way....just get this from  Knock Knock...

It's 50% passive aggressive but 1000000% AMAZEBALLS!!!!

Its filled with pages and pages of citations for human violations!   Just think...the A--hole who parks so close to you that you cant get the car seat in...he gets one too!  

xoxo ATCM

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Dedicated Post- Decor por Favor- Toy Storage (good idea Ivy!) it is our premier officier post and it's a goodie!   One of us is about to need this post and the other has already perfected it!  (Trust...I am shocked with how gorge her abode still is after 3 chunkies running wild in there).

It's hard enough to get your home looking as chic as chic can get and then once a bunny pops out and starts running about it's even harder to keep it that way!

So let's do it...let's find some rad and fun ways to store the rad and fun things...

So we are dying for anything acrylic right now...and have been for a may remember this??!?!?    And it got us thinking when I was designing my nursery...why don't I show off the fun stuff?  Like messy, cute, bright art?

And how amazing would a living room look with a gorge lucite trunk stuffed with toys????  So cute!  I mean you can not pretend that the bunnies aren't there...just embrace it!

Now here are 4 white credenzas (i think they are really just side boards or cupboards but credenzas sound waaaay cooler)   They are super chic and easy ways to hide the mess....

Throw them behind a couch, on a wall...add a lamp, framed photos, flowers and accessories and no one will know your "dirty lil secret"

PS They dont have to be white...but baby brain makes colors a challenge :)   

Room and Board


Remember the radness of the lucite trunk above?  If thats not your bag o' fun what about a vintage inspired version to hide the toys?


PS The goddess that is Kelly Wearstler absolutely despises any toys laying about ....hmmmm we kinda likey....

How ever you hide them...make sure you do it in style!

xoxo...  the cool moms

Monday, June 27, 2011

Here we came to the right place...

Well hello there!  Welcome to All The Cool Moms....

This is a blog dedicated to YOU...the cool mom.   The mom that is over pink lace and ruffles (unless they are combined with combat boots of course), the mom who can not stand yet another diaper bag that screams cutesy or just one that screams DIAPER BAG HERE!,  the mom who dare not decal the babies nursery walls with pastel blocks or choo choo trains with faces on them....

Now don't get us wrong...ALL moms are amazing and cool...we have the hardest and most wonderful jobs in the world but some of us scream for a wee bit nais se

We aim to bring you all the good stuff....from products to foods to the best sunscreens and even a cool stroller or 3....and definitely rad nursery design want more?  Just ask!

Now as you all know time is a super precious thing for us...I mean you are probably reading this because the little bunny decided to take a generous nap...right?  So, forgive us if the posts aren't everyday or as long as you would like them to be...but we are super excited to be here!  So WELCOME and stay tuned...